Faire un Nom

How does it make you feel when?...

2009-11-18T03:19:00.001-05:00

I remember driving with a girlfriend the year before last and a song came on, I believe it was by Finger Eleven and the lyrics went thus:
Well I’m not paralyzed/But I seem to be struck by you/
I want to make you move/Because you’re standing still.

She squealed and turned up the radio and I was dissapointed at my lack of enthusiasm. Because while the tune was catchy, it was ultimately the lyrics that angered me. I feel the same now when I hear a popular hip-hop tune which has maybe a great sample from another artist, a fantastic beat.. aaand then the lyrics are urging me to slap that all on the flo', slap that give me some mo'. Or pointing out that "who's a ho? she's a ho? I said that you's a ho."
(Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots With the Fuuur...I'll save that for later)

I'd been dwelling on what makes a great song nowadays with the re-influx of pop driven hits and I remembered reading a column by John Mayer (yes, surprisingly) maybe 4 years ago...I want to say GQ. Whatever. - anyways his premise was this: chord progressions, studied hi's and lo's, it's fairly predictable what will moisten the underpants of the cookie cutter masses (see: 30 Seconds to Mars)

A fun side note is if you look at Disney songwriters you couple brilliant lyrics with brilliant composing and voila, who hasn't belted out a hearty rendition of "Part of Your World" while drunk with friends? If you haven't, I haven't either.

Back to topic, it's always the words that snag me. I'm a big fan of language and I've had fairly monotone tunes become favorites because of interesting lyricism. Two that come to mind and not even close to inclusive:
Broken One - Luke Doucet and
Sorry Hearts - Blue October

I'm interested in opinions here. If you don't feel the same, argue your case. They may or may not be laughed at.

"I like to hop, I like to hop on pop" - Dr. Seuss.

2009-05-25T03:05:00.006-04:00

MILF is fine. But it'd be cooler if you were a WILL-F. Which I think is pretty SILF- explanatory. Oh god, that was a gay pun. I've become my mother!

Impossible love.

2009-04-14T03:09:00.002-04:00

I found this picture on deviantart.com a while back and it's been my backdrop for a while. I think it's just perfect.

FB. Myspace. Twitter. Hi5. Blogger. Match.com.

2009-04-14T02:24:00.003-04:00

Ok. The problem I see is how many 'social networking sites' can you be on before you're not 'connecting' anymore and they are the very things keeping you from having a physical social life? It's almost an oxymoron.
I abandon hope. We'll all turn into couch manatees with the only dense bones left in our bodies belonging to our fingers. Maybe the arms will morph into our torsos too. (Oh that's only for the ones who sit like me, slumped, belly distended)

Dixi.

Introspection

2009-04-08T02:28:00.002-04:00

It would be cool if one day I woke up with a pair of very bushy eyebrows. I would not be shy of them.

True story.

2009-04-08T02:20:00.002-04:00

Folding blankets is fun..if you're good at it. and also if they're geometrically even.
Who made those tricksy half-square/half-curved ones? They should be smothered in their own senseless creations.

All 50 of my roommates are sleeping!

2009-04-08T02:10:00.002-04:00

My apartment looks like fire and ice collided this night and the result is pretty ferocious. I nodded solemnly as Seth went off to work and declared how fervently I was going to clean this sty up whilst he was at work.
Damn my bad attitude!

It still looks like a crack team of intelligencia stormed the place looking for evidence, overturning couch cushions and leaving plates of unfinished sandwiches in their wake (BLT's. extra mayo, if I'm not mistaken). Further, I think I may have found fungus growing in the corner of the kitchen out of some molding coffee grinds. This could either be very disgusting or my attempt at ecological friendly compost recycling. I choose the latter.

Perspective, my friends, is the first step in growing to love oneself.

A title for this post.

2009-04-02T18:25:00.003-04:00

I'm sitting at a coffee shop with some man vocalizing heartfeeling-ly over the speakers. I think it's meant to be soothing but it makes me sort of anxious. There are grackles brazenly pecking the leftovers of my migas from off the plate. But most of all it's gloriously quiet and I have 15 minutes all selfishly for me.

I'm going to be moving from out of my apartment and into a house next, also going to Art school within the next couple months, God willing. Something I've wanted since I had concious thought. I'm excited and nervous and think I should start practicing my sketching.
I figure I also get more excuses for when I have bad behavior because I can just chalk it up to my "artistic temperament". Tortured genius, that's me.

All in all, the last month has been a very happy one for me. Since moving to Austin it's been a bit of a trick for me, adapting, stretching my comfort zone, clarifying my beliefs and morals - it's all still a work in progress but it's definitely changed me. Hopefully, for the better.

My friend has just joined me and ordered a beer. Temptation comes in the form of a woman holding Lone Star and I'm only human.
Check out this cool sign we saw while we were house hunting. HAHA

Busy week

2009-03-16T17:35:00.007-04:00

Holy God, SXSW is in town again and that means I'm going to be working overtime. I bartend in a bar on 6th St. which is a very busy street for bars. I love/am amused by all the interesting people that this event brings into town.

We do a drink called a Flaming dr. Pepper and two foreigners (English and Australian, I believe) ordered a round. Seeing as you're dealing with fire, we ask people to step to either side of the path of flame. Somehow my arms parting motion was translated to them as turn around, hands on the wall and spread 'em which erupted the whole bar into laughs.
I don't know how you do it in your country, but here, we're not that invasive.

Also, I'm doing the gym thing again but this time, I'm doing it right. By right, I mean Spandex and right never felt so wrong. Maybe with time I'll treat you to pictures of my abnormally well-formed Trapezius muscles.

Peace out.

And properly so..

2009-03-11T18:12:00.002-04:00

Today I woke up, donned some shorts and a very large, very orange sweater and took the garbage bag from off our porch. Tucked it in the back of my car and drove it to the dumpster. This was about the most I exerted myself on this day.

You already know how this will end.

2009-03-02T03:03:00.009-05:00

Just to get that gay youtube off the front I'll go ahead and blog when I'm hammered. You're welcome.

I'm pretty good at taboo. It's kind of embarassing to be good at board/games I've always thought. It's like a Star Wars nerd who knows all the trivia but I swear-to-god I haven't played more than five times. Jesse doesn't believe me but I have my suspicions about him as well.

Please listen to Iron and Wine - Flightless Bird, American Mouth.
You're welcome.

I went to an opera last week for a Valentine's gift (balcony seats, bitches!) and it was significantly cooler than I expected. I wasn't bored at all. That's high praise. And I cried at the end, I only admit this because I'm trashed. Really, really drunk.

Please listen to Katy Perry - Thinking of You

Oh. I have very hot girlfriends. It was not purposefully but they are stunning PLUS smart girls and I'm taking a moment to appreciate this. It makes me very happy to be surrounded by such classy ladies.

Please listen to DeVotchka - How it Ends
You're welcome.

I'm so content my chest is full. But it might just be the beer. But that would be my stomach. I'm happy, drunk and full. Done.

Is it just me or does this Christmas lack some pizazz?

2008-12-15T03:16:00.017-05:00

I wasn't really in love with Jason Mrazs' radio hit. Then I stumbled upon this gem and I'm so digging his lyrics and cadence. Appreciation. So in honor of cold (cozy) winters, new (badass) beginnings, and similar (sappy) sentences: Enjoy.

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, Here we are
Here we are
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds, out of this earth
And times they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

How could I have forgotten this one?

2008-12-14T22:16:00.004-05:00

After months of wondering at his development..

2008-12-10T20:05:00.006-05:00

I'm so not a bragger but I'm pretty stoked right now about my two-year old. Now, I'm not an expert so I'm sure this is normal and all the pros will be like "yes yes, settle down. We were excited too at our firstlings." And between their teeth: "sheesh, newbies.."

Okay, first off his imagination would make Lewis Carroll proud. Besides being an avid fan of reading (sleeping with a favorite story under his arm at night), as I type he's gone for building a little village out of tented books, has turtles, finger puppets and Larry the Cucumber as residents and is pretending that they're going two by two for a scuba adventure - right after he made a "go-cart" out of our couch, using cushions for the wheels and was very emphatic about the structural soundess of it's engine. I know these are his ideas and not mine in that it takes me about 5 minutes to decipher his pronounced baby accent, especially since the longer I take to guess what he's saying the more desperate and garbled his words sound.

He puts binoculars over his eyes strolling around the house. When questioned,
'Whatcha doin' there, budding Peeper.'

'I'm birdwatching.'

Secondly, the kid has a larger vocabulary than some grownups I find myself speaking with.
birdwatching?
armadillo?
tyranosaurus?
ipod? (haha, this one is our fault. nerds)
speaks in full sentences.

The only problem I have is that he dons a pullup which looks more like a war casualty than his intended "crown" and prances around the house on his "green dragon" which looks more like a mop calling himself a Princess.

Is it too early for gender definition?

Wow! look at all those random and sketchy pictures.

2008-11-23T17:08:00.008-05:00

Girlfriends. I refuse to tan.

Birthday. I just told a very highbrow joke...about prostitutes.

Fun frenchmen. Crepes and nutella are pretty much the bomb..

Halloween. Chelsey and my neckerchief.

All you've been.

2008-11-23T16:21:00.004-05:00

The wind is absolutely gorgeous today.
Not a patch of blue sky in sight just a glowing white-grey. The trees more of a yellowing green than the festive orange and red you'd expect a week before thanksgiving. The fallen petals who've given up the ghost skittle across the concrete like the exoskeletons of a defeated beetle army. Haha.

But the wind now, this makes my day.

It gusts through your clothes very innapropriately, lifting your shirt from your skin. Caressing your crossed arms and wrapping itself around your neck, all force and charisma, soothing yet a little bragging;like maybe everything will be alright after all and the possibilities are so much more real.

You know, I miss you so much today littlebigsister.
You'd be the one who I could talk to right now and somehow the sting of it all would somehow fade. With every shared confidence we'd make light of the situation till it became no matter anyways.

Instead you're fading to me.
I think of you less, talk about you less. And then I start to question if you're really still around at all.

I don't know how to die. I've come close to it enough that I realize how easy it is. No bright light or life flashing before your eyes that I know of. Just a slipping of a grasp that was feeble to begin with.

I realize this conflicts with my beliefs on the afterlife but sometimes I'm just scared and not all that believing.

I. don't. know.
That's all I have to say about that right now.

No hullabaloo allowed.

2008-10-23T04:43:00.005-04:00

Best times to laugh; when you're:

first up
first rate
far from it

A laughing man is stronger than a suffering man . 'So much virgin merriment awaits me', chuckles I...

In YO Face sucka!!

Set the night on fire.

2008-10-04T01:01:00.004-04:00

Seth making Flaming Dr. Peppers on 6th St.
He's so hot right now.

I love you as big as this..

2008-10-02T04:22:00.009-04:00

Baby, last Saturday you turned 2. Do you realize how ridiculously cool that is?

You've got "two to the power of", "square root of two".

2 is the only even prime number.
2 is the atomic element number of Helium.

2 witnesses are generally required to validate most legal events.

There are a lot of movies that end in the number two. Such as Terminator 2. Shrek 2. Rush Hour 2....and so on and so forth ad nauseum.

Going "number 2" is considered slang for feces.

Deux is the name of this Korean hip-hop duo, popular in the 90's. (thanks once again, wikipedia for giving me information that I will NEVER NEED)

I know these are your formative years. It's a very stressful prospect, thanks little runt. Frustrating especially since it's probable you won't remember ANY of this.
The painstaking bribes to get you to eat spaghetti (it's SPA-HE-TTI, everyone loves it! are you an alien or what?)
the cute stories about hippos in the molars before I can get you to crack an "ahh" so I can brush your teeth,
the embarrassing episodes of public rebelliousness (where is the "obey-goddamit" button on you?)
the "goddamits" repeated cute as a button that I have to smack your road-raging daddy for (ahem, heh),
the am I teaching him enough to be as smart as his same aged peers? Will he feel inadequate later in life? Will his character be strong enough to confront this hostile world?

All of this you are blissfully unaware of as you destroy our carpet, social life, paperback books, and septic system.

The past month has been one of the roughest of my life. It seems like everything clustered in a bottleneck and waited till I was unsuspecting and knocked my feet out from under me. When you're older, way older, we might talk about these things and you'll be all like, What? You had a life before me?

But newly two year old, you are my Saving Grace. I'm going to fail so many more times as you get older, you're going to point out every flaw in me and possibly hate me for them. But tonight, when I rocked you to sleep and hummed a very very tuneless song, you didn't care and you loved me with big blue adoring eyes and that, baby, is what keeps me waking up every morning.

If you can learn anything in life, it's that you're going to be a success and love what you've accomplished, you're also going to fail hard and miserably. People are going to praise you as beautiful and degrade your ugliness. You'll tell the truth but you'll also lie. Sometimes you won't know which one is harder to live with. Please, let every tough thing you face make you stronger, not bitter. Learn to embrace it and run farther.

I really think if you could learn only that I'd have given you the world. I love you stinker. Happy Birthday.

2008-10-02T03:04:00.003-04:00

Dude, I'm going to get to see these bad boys for my birthday!! (Thanks Dave!!) I'm too excited. I just hope I'm able to restrain myself from flinging myself bodily at the stage on the opening notes of Sex on Fire in a humiliating jumble of limbs and hot, hot lust.

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

2008-10-02T02:57:00.003-04:00

Flight of the Conchords is one of my all time favey shows/comedy duos. These guys are brilliant. Say Char, whats you say about trying the gangsta/folk crossover genre for our gigs?

Note also "Albi the Racist Dragon"..quality.

so tired and happy.

2008-09-26T20:23:00.004-04:00

And this week has just been way too full. Getting back to you after ACL and the madness..

Sketches for my sweetheart the drunk.

2008-09-12T22:40:00.002-04:00

I'll just throw up a bunch of sketches that I've been doodling the last couple weeks. A nod to the beauty that is steampunk.

Word

2008-09-09T22:58:00.001-04:00

"God, to me, it seems, is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper."

- Richard Buckminster Fuller

For Florecita

2008-09-07T20:38:00.006-04:00

Just finished this on the kids' room in Blanco. It took about a week. More art to follow.

One hundred and two

2008-08-14T17:05:00.003-04:00

"Somehow I always think that as long as I'm with you, we're invincible..and young, foolish definitely, but determined. and happy..happy most."

2008-08-14T01:42:00.011-04:00

Wee Charlotte visited again a month or two ago. That's the second time in two years.
Once too many, I say.
We had a blast, what with her using all two of our laptops simultaneously to host her online gaming obsession, her teaching my son to lick and preen each other a la wild puma cubs, introducing my friends to her unique brand of inappropriate public humor and being able to establish my hierarchy in the pecking order by waking her up with a flying knee to the kidney.

As the next in age under me, the love/hate relationship runs deep. We were made to share a room, she always had a crush on my men friends, and has THE most amazing voice and music style that I've personally seen in a girl.

(Circa May. 2008)
Today though, in honor of this little of this little twerp, we are having an interview.

Inquisitor: How long have you been tormenting..I'm sorry, imposing..aahh, that is to say visiting the victim..er..sister?

Charlotte: Well that's a personal question sir... moving right along

Inq: How old are you, are you?

Charlotte (Yo mamma): The question here is, what's yo flava-flava?

Inq: Touche, creamer.

Charlotte (Looseface): You've always been there for me.

Inq: So, nubbin, who/what's your muse for the badass music you churn out?

Charlotte (the Wasted): Well, in all honesty, I owe it all to Steve Buckle, he got me into that hole heart pumping fist shaking butt bumping genre of music which i've been poorly imitating ever since the first time, if you get my drift.

Inq: What's a good memory of you and I sharing a room in a clusterf**k of nine of us?

Charlotte (the Fartlet): You used to beat me up before bed, and then never remember the next morning. I would never have to settle an argument with you, I would just wait till morning to hear your innocently sweet voice saying, "Good morning, honeybunchkins. Lordy!! Who gave you that shiner? Show me the man and I'll fist his bellybutton!"

Inq: How old were you when you first became interested in men?

Charlotte (the Harlot): I wouldn't know, I'm still into BOYS!

Inq: Favey ice-cream?

Charlotte (Licking-the-bottom-of-the-wineglass): Rum Raisin or Junior Mints and Vanilla Icecream. (Editors note: Gross. Toothpaste and ice-cream don't mix)

Charlotte waves back and forth sloshily as I encourage another glass of Concha y Toro merlot down her throat. 'Heave ho!' she slurs merrily. She's a light weight and full of her...subject. If there's one thing to be said, it's that when everything goes to hell we've always been able to laugh together over until we cry. Many people find that inappropriate but we're going to live longer than them anyways.

Inq: Who's your favorite author?

Charlotte the (Challenged (mentally): Orson Scott Card. Because of his indepth character schemes.

Inq: What's your political leaning?

Charlotte (the Clinton): Obama

Inq: What makes you smile?

Charlotte (the omelette): Pussies. Double meanings. Fingering my guitar.

Inq: Drink of choice?

Charlotte (the Bibber): ----crickets chirping

She has stumbed off to the bathroom, I'm assuming to use it's facilities. Ten minutes later she plops back into the chair next to me wearing tight black sweatpants, a pink tee and a black jacket. Que trendy. (The moustache she could do without...)

"Ha ha, Liz," she says as she returns, all smiles, "My fingers are drunk!" She twitches them in a piano playing pantomime then slaps them and giggles, leaning her sloshed head on my shoulder.

Inq: What's something you've always wanted people to know about you? (YAWN)

Charlotte (the Floor): I have a deep side, 6 and 1/2 inches deep to be precise. RAARRRJHH. She blurps into a wine glass.

Inq: Insightful yet disturbing. Enjoy these mere demos as treats:

Boomp3.com

Boomp3.com

What I'm listening to.

2008-06-23T00:42:00.005-04:00

Band Of Horses - No One's Gonna Love You

(Loving the lyrics, although secretly, I also am digging on the facial hair.)

The Weepies - Nobody Knows Me

(Again, all about the words nowadays. Raise your hand if you can relate on this one.)

That's "Elder" to you.

2008-04-09T01:13:00.005-04:00

It's no secret I have a fascination with young Mormon men. Those suits, those bicycling calves, that iron clad resisting of fleshly temptations. And now a calendar?

This is sooo candy for my sweet tooth.

Throwdown

2008-04-08T00:33:00.006-04:00

Combatant One: Liz "El Ratito" de Gaalon

Combatant Two: Demon "Ant" Iz'rogul

Winner: Liz "El Ratito" de Gaalon

All rumors aside, this is how it all went down:
We were at a weekend cookout. I'm swinging Avicus Grey over my shoulder in a playful gesture and all of a sudden I feel a painful sting on my neck.

Lo, I see Iz'Rogul (also known as "Ant Face") looming near my jugular, jubilation in his jowls. I take a seat, swatting off my Annoyance and continue in the conversation.

Not two minutes later, I imbibe that this insect from the Inferno has injected me with his ill will. The blood in my brain feels like it wants to burst out of it's weak barriers and the heartbeat, oh trustworthy one, slows like the minute hand of a clock. I walk away to cool my "hot head" and slip off my shoes to ease the pressure (?).

Dave strolls over to make sure I'm alright, "I'm going to pass out in 20 seconds, take me to the hospital", I plead _ he hollaz for Seth who runs over, scoops me up "Save me.." says I and that is the last, my brothers, that I remember.

(Witness story: I peed all over Seth carrying me when I passed out because I'm classy like that and he's into it. or is now haha)
Apparently I felt like a unwieldy bag of soggy sand, with flailing anchor limbs, carrying me into the ER.
Note: I've been dieting and working on my maneuverability ever since.

When we got to the hospital they thought I was dead with hardly a breath and an untraceable heartbeat, but if they could've read my unconscious I was thinking "I hope I swatted Demon "Ant Face" Iz'rogul hard enough to squash him into in-existence", because I'm hard-core like that.

I came to naked, with a tube down my throat, oxygen over my mouth, steroids and god-knows-what-else dripping into both veins(as apropos a veteran scrapper would.)
Because they didn't know my birth name, my bracelet read "Medical, Victor".

As it happens, I'm allergic to ants with a tolerance level of 0.
Light=heartedness aside, I'm concerned that when people of age ask to be taken to the hospital, it's granted them. When I lived in Houston two years ago the same thing happened only, luckily, less drastic. I asked to be taken and instead somehow I ended up in a bathtub of bleach water; the next morning, told I was faking it.

If someone had ended up hesitating just a moment the other weekend I wouldn't be writing this account, I chalk it up to Divine intervention. Thank You.
As is, now I need to carry a shot of adrenaline with me at all times, which I've had to take since - and makes you feel like you've robbed a bank, drunk 8 cups of shake-inducing-coffee, transformed into a 200 lb brick and then agreed to have animal testing done on your small intestines. I'm giving it a .5 thumbs down.
I had a sister who waited five hours+ to be taken to the emergency room and arguably things would have been different if people had hustled..
Just saying.

So that's the story for all you curious questioners.

But what of Demon "Ant" Iz'ragul? Word is he died ignominiously, just a bug among millions.

Score: Liz - 1 Familia Anticae - 0

Catching a bus

2008-04-03T00:45:00.003-04:00

No one meets each other's eyes anymore. Why do you think?

iloveyou

2008-02-14T16:21:00.007-05:00

Oh, and I hope you are all making love, preferably while reading this.

This concludes my emo-est post to date..

Right? Right?

2008-02-11T01:33:00.000-05:00

Aw man. Don't even tell me, I know how lame my online persona has been. On the flipside, my "other" life is booming. Plans, big plans.
Go figure.

Courtesy of asofterworld.com

Memora

2008-02-01T02:20:00.001-05:00

Just sitting here thinking well of you. Wishing all things well for you. Wishing I was there for you.

Brief but satisfactory.

2008-01-30T00:55:00.000-05:00

Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit To Wife's Vagina

These are a few of my favorite things.

2008-01-23T03:05:00.000-05:00

Fridge magnets. and laughing.

Seth and Chelsey's game faces. Note the name tag.

Christmas morning with this little butt-butt.

New Years kisses.

Lovers

These two goofballs

Public Health Bulletin.

2008-01-23T03:03:00.001-05:00

Please read this blog only after consuming four alcoholic beverages or more. Thankyouverymuch.

Hairy Little Monster.

2008-01-23T01:40:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we celebrated the 18th *read: barely legal* birthday of my tres awesome roomie with a trip to the local Two-Steppin' watering hole.

Things I love about HLM:

Her unique sense of humor. Dry, quirky with a hint of the sinister.
Her stoneresque quality of thought. Totally abstract.
Her genuine personality. Just about the most real and laid back girl I know and dude, I can talk with you about anything, on the level yo.
Telling random strangers who ask you to dance you have a fake leg, that being the first excuse that pops in to your head. What?? Hahaha.

For serious advice:
One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it's one worth watching.

Loveyou.

Word, 2008ers.

2008-01-05T01:38:00.000-05:00

It's a wierd feeling putting a new number on the end of my two thousands.

When I was a small fry, 2000 was the Future. It was flying robot cars and talking computers. During get-out, I would dash my hardest in anticipation of the day I would, for reals, be outrunning the Antichrist and his henchmen. It was life on mars and all the excitement of the UNDISCOVERED.

Well I'll tell you what, small fry from 1990:
Laptops are the bomb.
Stamp collecting will not make you millions.
Davey had a crush on you (which is why he was so mean).
All the ceaseless memorizing does come in handy.
You'll grow to like salmon..zucchini too (especially with soy sauce).
Love is an exhilarating 20 second ride, the rest is pushing the sled back up the hill.
Bet on the Sox in the World Series 2007.
Time is relative.
Weed will make you fall asleep.
Watch Amelie.
Laugh at everything but don't feel like you have to.
Spend more time with your family because they won't be around as much as you assume they will.
Learn sign language.
For godsakes wear a bra to bed.

and most importantly, say yes.

I haven't made a New Years' Resolution for the simple fact that I'd jinx myself (50% failure in the first week and all) but Alanis said it tolerably well:

That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity

That I would be good

Whether with
or \
without\
you.

2007-12-12T11:29:00.001-05:00

Or not.

7.0

2007-12-12T02:36:00.000-05:00

I'm drinking some cans of Sparks (dude, TOTALLY check out 'mystery link 3' It's the Shiz.) and it gets me thinking. A strong beer that is also an energy drink. Think think.
A malt beverage that doubles as an energy drink. Thought thought.

Which means if you drink enough to want to crash/pass out, you can't? Kind of sucky yet sardonically funny.
Expect to see a months worth of posts spill out of me in the next half hour.

Hip hip hip.

2007-12-11T23:21:00.001-05:00

I'm supposed to be cleaning my messy room/bathroom/closet.

Que delinquente!

Sigh, if only motivation could be sold in little rocket packs.

And the march goes on..

2007-12-09T23:43:00.000-05:00

I put up a bunch of pictures from the trip. I'm gonna throw up some more so check back, they're just all huge and take forever to upload. Chafes my bottom, it does.
So, I just wanted to say how much I liked everyone I met. All this concentrated swellness was enough to tongue-tie me and I'm still not entirely over it. What a good excuse for my silence.

Speaking of which, I've been learning the quality of silence.

................................................
.......................................................

So go lookie at your pictures, you special little sweet-treat:

I'll recount then reconnoiter..

2007-11-18T02:13:00.000-05:00

Ok dude. I have all these pictures from Cali/Mexico that I'm trying to put online but where? Suggestions?
I'm all about instant gratification. Preferably something that doesn't take signing my soul away for a month to the Gods of Spam.

But let me tell you a bit about my vacashion. Yes, I purposely slurred that "shon" because that's probably what was going on while I was there.

Word of the day: Tequila.

Never been much of a Tequila drinker. Was first introduced to it only in my early twenties. Yet I made a commitment to the HeretoforeUnkownLiquor to tuck it away for the duration of my vacashion.

Here's a little example of how it went down. I'm honest because I only wish for the young and impressionable to learn from my mistakes

Morning: Margaritas and Mexican Coffees for breakfast.
Elevensies: Tequila y Fresca.
Noon: Tequila Anonymous atop Ziggurat. Bring your own plastic cup.
Break for nap.
Late afternoon: Pacifico with a twist of Tequila.
Evening: Shots with Salt & Lime.

Although I can honestly say I was never "beyond capacity" as I like spacing out my tasty beverages, I was definitely "buttered and lightly toasted" a couple, few times.
But hey, isn't that what one does on vacashion on Mehico?

Highlights were:
Shoot..so many people to name.
Andrew and Liz
Jason and Clara
(Congratulations all around. Beautiful wedding, some of my favorite people. I'm so glad you actually exist Clara..ask Jason)
Jer and Angie. Thanks for the sleep over, the naked pillow fights, the awesome company.

(to be continued) Yea. Don't even think you could slip by under the radar. I got your number (and possibly your neighbor). Meet me by the docks. Alone.

As proof, some pictures.

As I was saying. Those docks. 2am. Bring some Tequila.

A better son/daughter

2007-11-18T01:16:00.000-05:00

..And sometimes when you're on
You're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you

But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence

But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile

And you'll be better
You'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter or son

And a real good friend
And you'll be awake
You'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts

And you'll laugh and embrace all of your friends

And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest
You'll be brave
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them

--Rilo Kiley (The Execution of All Things)

Sins.

2007-11-14T23:21:00.001-05:00

I've been sleeping too little.
Drinking too much
Having envious thoughts towards my neighbor.
Taken the Lord's name in vain.
Been a hypocrite.
Faked it.
Been reckless.
Dropped my standards.
Been rebellious.
Lived short of my potential.
Having impure thoughts towards my neighbor.
Lied
Let pride get in the way of my interactions with others (this one hurts)
Pushed my way.
Loved too little.
Spoken badly about my neighbor.

This list could go on, sirs. I am the smallest of God's creatures.
Someone recently gave me an awesome compliment and then asked how I stayed humble; I almost had to laugh. I have more than enough badness in me to keep me feeling about this high for a lifetime and realizing how much I need to be forgiven for.

I can't thank you enough for seeing the good in me, those of you who do. I'm so lucky. Oh well, tomorrows another day.

And neighbor, I'm truly sorry.

Hang me out to dry.

2007-11-12T21:21:00.000-05:00

I was of the good intention to say something before I left to California but time and duties constrainethed me.
I took a bleep-load of pictures on the trip but I'm too lazy to put them online tonight (you'll just have to be patient, nervous drunk-faced victims -- muaha,hahah,hahah) but this being the first night I have back in the comforts of my own domicilico, I'm planning a hot shower, a 5 minute teeth brushing/vigorous earcleaning, intense cuddling with the Small Fry, maybe even taking in a movie.

As you can no doubt grasp, all else will have to wait till morning.

Offsides, here are pictures of the hapless little guy as we dressed him like a pea for Haloween and forced him to grin for: "memories, son, smile! this is for posterity!" Such a sport.

Spartico got this splendiferous new camera for... his artistic "tendencies". Hahahah. He's good at any rate, check out the first picture to ever be shot. No pun intended.
Note to self: Watch back.

Wazzzzzup??!!!!

2007-10-22T00:18:00.000-04:00

Someone says "update", I'll update you senseless. You say "jump", I'll hop right into a flaming ring of death.
I'm a ~~lazy~~ loyal blogger.

I've recently started working at a Volley-Bar. (note the clever play on words.."ball" is similar to "bar"..I know, if you have to explain it..) Which means I serve food and drinks, chat with customers and take tournament/league fees. It's a hoot and a half.

I do that in the morning and then I come home to spend time with my little fartknocker who's smile has recently just become creepy. And he flashes the creepy grin at just about everyone. Which either amuses the person or sends them scurrying away unsettled.

I watched the Red Sox/Indians game tonight and the Sox won. YAY!! Not really into baseball though, boring as a beaver but that team's fun.

I think Hillary Clinton looks evil.

I am the proud owner of a Wriststrong bracelet.

The other night at Ihop I drank a mixture of every liquid on the table. It was disgusting...yet strangely exciting.

Until next time

I'll take you for who you are, if you take me for everything.

2007-10-05T23:56:00.000-04:00

Did anyone ever notice?
Love is blind, for about 6 months.
And then it gets SUPER X-RAY THERMAL NIGHT vision upgrade. Which I guess comes as a bit of an adjustment for little blind lover. But cool nonetheless I guess.
Because if the details that become apparent during Super X-Ray Thermal Night vision don't freak you out then we're in the clear.

Cheers lovers. It's a badass sport.

Por family and friends Solamente.

2007-10-02T00:26:00.000-04:00

Because I want to be as fast as KENYANS!!

2007-09-28T01:42:00.000-04:00

Month XII. Year I. Day Threehundrend sixtyfive/six.

2007-09-27T23:27:00.000-04:00

Today, to the day, you've spent one year exploring the world around you.

(a little aside, my beta fishy also turned one year. although of waaay less importance, fishy is the one animal (?) that I have been able to keep alive for more than a few months which I consider a triumph. don't get attached to pets I say, but this one is a slippery sort. However, the other day I DID drop him on the kitchen floor whilst changing his waterbowl and one of his eyes is swollen. I fear the worst)

Ahem. Again,
Today you turned one year. One. Year. Now I KNOW that you're a lifelong commitment but dang, one year. That's longer than I've kept anything going (see above fishy comment, soon to be "the late, fishy")

I've tried to document your progress on this website because I don't have one of those little baby books, heck, I don't even have a decent camera (soon to be remedied). So maybe this will be the only lasting by-the-moment-account of our formative years.

I'm saying our because really, I'm such a newbie at this you could almost smell the amateur in me. I know this because I often get stopped by strangers, first it's: "oh, what a cutie, let me guess...'x' old?
"ah ha, on the dot." says I.
"Oh that ones got a knowing look in his eyes, the rascal. Going to be a real heartbreaker."
"Haha, yes," says I again - diverting his outstretched hand on bosom-grabbing course.
"First?" (this one a little more empathetic, head cocked to one side)
"Indeedy." -Attempting to stuff him into my armpit while he claws at my nostrils, kicks my throat with his heels and smiles winningly at his quarry.
"Let me tell you something..." and this is where it either launches into a recipe for easy weaning/sleeping/time alone (all wishful thinking) or a detailed personal description of a trial faced during child rearing. All valid points but that's the neat thing about humans, unless you ARE that human or have been with that human since he was born, the best advice you can give is saying - "I understand. Don't sweat it."

Now that you're old enough to understand me...sort of, I'm trying to get less mad when I'm stuck in traffic, not express verbally when I burn myself on, well, anything and also let you know that I'm gonna love you for always, even if you get mad in traffic, cuss when you burn yourself, and when your love cup is a little empty and you start doing that annoying whining thing. I'm going to make excuses for you and hug you anyways. (I hope you one day grow to understand what a big big depart from the norm that would be for me.)
Because I know you're watching and I want you to grow up to be a decent, well-mannered sort of person.

I think we both surprised each other a bit with our resourcefulness. Because at the times I fall short and have a grumpy day, you're there with the goofiness and the grace to make me laugh anyways.
When I'm stupid, you just trust me to be less stupid next time for the both of us, no questions asked, no disapproving looks.
When I feel like a human stain, your beaming eyes as you try to impress me with your attempts at walking make me feel like something worth trying to impress.

So, Avi, if you're reading this 15 years from now and we're at odds because you're
-listening to ghetto rap
-dating a skeazy girl
-telling me I don't know what life's like
-frustrating the bleep out of me
-(please don't do these things)

I want you to know that I will try to have the grace to laugh on an off day, trust you to be less stupid the next time, and hope that I will always be someone who is worth impressing.

Happy Birthday Bunny.

This past month..

2007-09-26T02:52:00.000-04:00

Went to the Red Bull Flugtag.

Then we played some volleyball.

Went to ACL.

Sated our thirst

and Tony fell asleep on our couch.

And there you have it all
or rather just
what I took pictures of.

Keeping the missus happy

2007-09-26T00:53:00.000-04:00

So I'm walking back from the pool the other day, towel over head, staring at my feet trying to avoid the dog poop in the grass. I look up to see a washing machine at the bottom of our steps with a little note taped to it: "FOR LIZ".
This was a quite a nice surprise in itself, but was even more surprising was how excited I was for it. I guess this means I'm quite thoroughly domesticated as the sight of a brand new washer/dryer will now apparently break me out in profuse thank-yous, kisses and you're-the-bestest.

It's true, for the past year and a half we've been doing laundry at the local Dime-A-Load. --Which I'm going to heartily recommend to anyone who wants to take years off of their lifespan due to frustration-related mini spasms. Much as I liked hauling bags of dirty sundries to their fishbowl sized appliances and attempted to stuff a weeks worth of baby, work, and summer sweatwear into their well worn tubs. Cleaning out the gorilla hair packed into the dryer filters and the invitations to "laundry room drink parties" held by middle aged men still wearing their Alpha Kappa Phi t-shirts from their "glory days".

All this is nostalgia at it's finest but thankyou kindly, I'll pass and kindly thank you Seth for surprising me yet again for another swell surprise. So if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go break this bad boy in. (machine, not man)

The W W as the W W.

2007-09-24T23:02:00.000-04:00

Light. I'm very disturbed that RJ passed away without finishing his lifes' work. Call me a pessimist but i just KNEW it would happen.

It could be true of my arms too

2007-09-13T17:51:00.000-04:00

Today I was just chilling on the floor kind of leaning back a bit, you know, on my arms. When I happened to look down at my legs. And all of a sudden I'm like, "Whoa, my legs look kind of stumpy."
I don't know if it's the jeans or the way the light is hitting my socks but the legs definitely looked a bit stump-like. So yea, pretty much I'm sitting here looking at my stumpyish legs.
What's up?

Pulling out all the stops

2007-08-25T01:27:00.000-04:00

Love me? please?

Ruthless.

Argh. ^$#

2007-08-25T00:57:00.000-04:00

Me and my big stupid mouth. I never know when to stop.

I should probably be humanely put down for the sake of the general public.

Dam. dam.

it's official

2007-08-25T00:43:00.000-04:00

Avicus (the most widely misquoted name, Arbicus, Archemedes, Lusticus, Averagecus, Abacus, Advocate) has made me proud. See? See?

Child has not been tampered with in any way.

All the most beautiful love stories are tragic, so be perfect now and walk away.

2007-08-23T01:44:00.000-04:00

Forget the Notebook, who wants to see very old people kissing?

See Casablanca. It's from an age when people were still classy.

Mundanity

2007-08-21T23:00:00.000-04:00

Currently: Completing a 6-hour online course on the laws, liabilities and statistics of alcohol consumption and service.

Boooring.

Background noise: Seth is playing Call of Duty.

Good news: I'm happy because I measured my BMI after a month of exercise and it's gone from 23% to 18%. Flex flex.

Guilty pleasure: I went on a cleaning binge which to my detail-oriented perfectionist includes toothbrush scrubbing the floorboards and organizing the sugar packets.

Smelling: spaghetti.

Guilty pleasure #13: Kettle Cooked Jalepeno Chips (with French Onion dip)

Word of the day:
indurate - to make hard; to harden.

Quote of the day (in response to a discussion):
Even if all the things that people prayed for happened - which they do not - this would not prove what Christians mean by the efficacy of prayer. For prayer is request. The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted. And if an infinitely wise Being listens to the requests of finite and foolish creatures, of course He will sometimes grant and sometimes refuse them. Invariable "success" in prayer would not prove the Christian doctrine at all. It would prove something more like magic - a power in certain human beings to control, or compel, the course of nature.

C. S. Lewis, "The Efficacy of Prayer"

Cheers darling.

2007-08-14T02:11:00.000-04:00

I went to a birthday party the other night. It wasn't so much a party as a festival of her youthness and the struggle of survival in a rugged world. Because really, every night that we close our weary eyes is a triumph of our frail indomitable frame against this insistant and weighty world.

Sooo, ever the optimist and the itch you can't scratch, I'm just going to keep prodding you to "be the best", "live your dreams" "forgive your..creams? teams? regimes?"

Well, forgive anyways. Yourself mostly.
Always lock the door behind you.
Don't get pulled down to their level. Drag them (kicking and screaming if you must) up to yours.
Gerard is hard at work customizing your Heavenly Mansion.
Outdo your friends in accomplishments, not boys.
Love your enemy. Bless them that curse you and do nice things to those turds who despise you.
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill is pretty much visible for a couple hundred miles. So don't lose that light or hide it under a basket of a rough woven weed, instead show it off so everyone can admire the skillful work of your Master Crafter.
Laugh. Alot.
Bring me more wine.
Make mistakes. They're twice as fast for the learning process.

feast and famine

2007-08-14T01:35:00.001-04:00

Around the middle of the month, food and resources always get a little low. ramen!

Fridge inventory:

[Top shelf]
Sour cream. Small.
Small container of some type of red soup from last month (all i can tell you is it contains rice), pushed in back and forgotten.
A couple of olives floating in formaldehyde.
Half a jar of pickles.

[Second shelf]
Huge container butter. Empty..wierd. Must have been there months.
Some kind of strawberry spread I don't remember getting.
Ham, sliced.
Empty jar of dip. Who does that??
Salsa.

[Bottom shelf]
Cheese sticks
Crud from upper shelf drippings.

[Drawers]
Quarter onion.
30 limes. Why?
Rubbery carrots.
Empty plastic bag..again Why?

[oh and door]
Mayonnaise..
a host of other condiments less important than MAYONNAISE
Garlic
Roll of film from 1982
Maraschino cherries (gross)

So there are my ingredients. What would YOU eat for dinner?

bonne bouche:
Seth comes home at 2:55 am to say, "You've been naughty ALL day."

Oh?

You sly fox, you

2007-08-09T02:52:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the 1000+ views yesterday.

Outside: 100 degrees. Feels like: 100 degrees

2007-08-07T01:24:00.000-04:00

Clearing out my camera chip. Texas does strange things to people..i doo love yoo.

Crit. Graceful, angry and full of hot hot monkey love.

Seth. Teaches his son the timeless ritual of Finger Lickin' Good.

Marky. Trying not to let his eyes show that he's grazing boob.

Drew and Tony. Making short shrift of Polvo's Famous Table Margarita

This is the face of wild abandon. Beware!

At this moment, Seth is thinking ___________.
Bonus point: At this moment, Avi is thinking _________.

Marky, turning up the heat, enjoying a beer AND flashing the eye. Multi-tasking ladies and genteelmen. Multi-tasking.

Poised to strike, no one saw it coming. The revenge of the Last Dorito.

The Awkard but Crucial Picnic Conversation on the True Paternity of The Too White Child.
by Gliff Barton

Conjoined from birth, Twin 1 grinned while Twin 2 "did her thing".

Jer. In a rare public appearance, demonstrates his infamous two-fingered-lick-em-and-stick-em move.

Jamie: I've got something I'm not telling. Heh Heh.
Heidi: I've got something I'm not telling. Tee hee.

Month X

2007-07-28T02:55:00.000-04:00

You turned a decade of months old yesterday. (a week ago, now that I write again. I have GOT to get my procrastination under control)

I'm still trying to figure out how you've slipped past my wary eye to turn from a squiggly bland doughboy to a writhing, crafty little man.

Since I've started attacking you with my open mouth to "eat you", you reciprocated with an equally open-mouthed (tho slobbery) version of your own. Slamming your florescent curly white head on my florescent freckled white shoulders.

For the first nine months of your life, you were blissfully toothless. Unaware that you were a freak among babies with their glistening enamel, you with an ear to ear gum grin that could only be described as "rectangular".
Then, last week, while I was spinning you around the living room -- your head thrown back in giddy abandon I spotted a wee mar in your gums.
Lo and behold, Tooth!

Tooth.
That hater of all things calm and peaceful.
Tooth,
the harbinger of anguish and misery

You now throw yourself upon me at least 16 times a day in a piteous thrash as if to say, "Take this from me". It's enough to make me relish the gaping black rectangle. (by the time this makes it to 'publish' let's make the grand total of teeth: two)

A high point of last month is: we got you a crib so we don't have to maneuver around your sprawled out form at night. You're so much fun to cuddle with but sometimes we've just gotta have our space, small fry.
Babies in bed = best form of contraceptive.
(I generally end up with you back in the bed by morning somehow. Because you're just too smooshable and I just know I'm going to miss you squinting up at me to make sure I'm there and then burrowing your way back into my armpit.)

In between all this randomness you're just so chill I'm waiting for the turning point. I know I've said this before but what's going on? An early adolescence at the age of 5? or will I walk in on you shimmying down the trap door to your dungeon of Evil Baby Genius where you wreak havoc on the world much to the delight and pride of your uncle Olivier.

Anyways, you make me laugh alot.
Laughing is good.
And you make me sing more, even if it is "Little eyes". You also give me something to look forward to when I wake up, also, though you don't laugh at my contorted faces - you'll find some random noise or action hilarious and you'll 'bout bust a gut cackling over in the corner.

I'm glad you're quirky, and I'm pretty sure that even if it continues and you don't grow more than two teeth in the whole span of your lifetime I'd still think you were about the swellest thing to happen since fried ramen.

I guess that's why they call it a mothers love.

Much love, Mommy

Of all things..

2007-07-20T21:50:00.001-04:00

I read this news clip about an 18 yr old, newly married boy in Iraq who was just killed. Just like every other death, it's crushing - all the more so to those who are directly connected to him and the hundreds just like him who meant so much to someone.

While I was at the gym this afternoon, I watched America's Next Top Model on TV and I thought it ironic that at the height of "our" war with babies being orphaned, anger worldwide at the arrogance of this "great nation", and a political climate that could curl your chest hair -- the majority of programming consists of "reality" shows of the most banal nature. Modeling, tanning salons, California, dating, fashion design.

All of them portrayed in high suspense. Like, omg, I HAVE to stay through commercials to see WHO GET'S CUT! WHAT IS HER ANSWER?!!

God forbid that anything truly real gets shown that would denumb the locals. Give them something to talk about besides the Who's Who of rehab.

I enjoyed this speech immensely.

Part 2 and 3 as well. Ballsy man.

Also, keep this boy in your prayers. Really really. He's a good guy.

I don't have anything else to say. This is all becoming muy trite, yes? And even the fact that it becoming so is hurtful.

The Sad Song Video

2007-07-20T20:09:00.000-04:00

Neat, creative little snippet. Blank.

Photospectacular.

2007-07-19T01:37:00.000-04:00

I went to a Cancer party. (The sign not the sickness)
Hitherforth are the public pictures I pilfered (again) from Another's Blog.
Remorselessly.

I took that last one. I'm boasting because I rarely take amazing photos and that last one is a photo to stand out. Look at all their cunning faces displayed au natural.
It is perfection.

And many more...but you must go forth from here to beget them.
Oh wait, doesn't Seth look pretty Taliban?

Soon after, Heaven pounced.
It's cute, I promise.

Played volleyball: my team won and lost.
Drank mini-Heineken kegs: during volley ball
Babbled: while drinking mini-keg. and everywhere else
Bubble Bathed: with drinks and babbles and bubbles and uh..boobies?

Presently:
Having friends crash on the living room floor.
Chatting with Niki-poo.
Listening to "you are, pick ups in my guitar"

*Bon Bouche*:

Lying abed, stroking Seth's earlobes:
"Liz, you have to understand, these are my erroneous zones."

"(laughing so as is hard to catch my breath) Don't you mean erogenous?"

Hardly worth a mention.

2007-07-19T01:34:00.000-04:00

Isn't it curious that the thing that attracts you in the beginning repels you in the end?

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

2007-06-27T21:40:00.001-04:00

I've been mulling over a few choice questions that have been forming in my head, kind of debating whether or not to throw them up here.
I'm cautious about forming opinions about my beliefs because once made, they stick. I guess I don't like the idea of being blown about by popularity.
Puh.
I've been wrong more than once. Like recently.

Anyhow, my point being, every time I venture forth to write, these billowy thoughts overwhelm me and I retreat into my smoking jacket and lounge chair with a pipe clamped between my teeth.

Only I don't smoke, or have teeth.

I have also decided to put up a daily bonne bouche of the people around me. Because (spoken in a hushed whisper, curled under the table) "they's crazy".
And I prefer writing about others.

Chelsey sings: "Tell me what's yo' flava, flava." (that doesn't help)
Seth likes to eat Fire Cheetos with a hint of lime.
His sister likes Red Hots and Tamarindo.
What's wrong with this picture? Their taste buds have been warped by Marauding Mexican Malganus's.
That's what.

I will never fit in. SOB.

Barious

2007-06-15T02:44:00.000-04:00

I found these pictures from WS. Por your viewing pleasure, mes amis.

I guess I need a camera so I can stop being a theifer.
Cheers

Read it and weep, darling.

2007-06-15T00:39:00.000-04:00

Cast:
Me: played by Me.
You: acted by You.

Behaved: ironicly.
Forgave: mostly.

Because: all that I wanted was You.
Forget: all that you needed was Me.

exeunt Me.

In my closet. A ratitos' tail.

2007-06-15T00:32:00.001-04:00

I woke up on a Tuesday (a triumph)last week, 11ish as is my usual when I go to bed at 3ish (which is also my usual), feeling that Moving Bug Itch.
I'm still not sure which part of my body it resides in. After much diligent research I can tell you which body parts he does NOT reside in but not much else.

I stumble over the cardboard boxes and clothings littering my bedroom floor following the sound of laughing voices and chitter chatter.
(One of my morning dilemnas: Which caffeine delight to choose? Mate or coffee? Tantalize or Taste? I say, it keeps me Habit Free!)

This disturbance, as it turns out, belongs to the Packing Party!!! A branch off of the North Pole Dwarves and The Keebler Elves. A small group of Vodka and Sprite sipping ladies have clustered in one of the bedrooms to celebrate the century old tradition of Parting and Packing and Parlaying.

I have no choice but to join in.

Drinking at 11 you say!!? Inhumane! Sozzled! Phthlumption!
Say what thou desirest but forsooth it is an uncommonly fine way to beat the by-by and sally forth blues.
(Disclaimer courtesy of Grey Moose Vodka: Mind you, this does not mean drinking in the heavy sense, but merely a finger loosener to better enable you to tape up those unwieldy boxes. Drink responsibly)

Pack and move we did.
This is the 3rd time in a year but I'm not complaining, not this time. In the short span we lived at our previous apartment the "ghetto" somehow slowly crept in and overtook it and before long I was nervous about my safety as there were shootouts and drug deals going on under our noses, pretty frequently in the last days.
And while I learned some nifty lingo, for sheezy, and I can booty shake like it's nobody's business I'm still glad to be out of that dubious territory.

This post originally started out as a prelude, leading up to some choice memorabilia found in the boxing and bagging rubbish but as it all plays out, it's not so important and the real mementos in life are the friends you make and the memories that cluster around them.

Enjoy them.
Enjoy the living daylights out of them because life is a tricksy mother------.

My Golden Boy

2007-06-10T00:43:00.000-04:00

Hey baby,

I was meaning to get you a little card to go with your gift for your birthday (which was a few days ago). You know, something trendy with a witty little comment like:

"a big pile of money would be a great birthday gift," I thought..
but mall security yanked me out of the fountain before I was able to scrape up a respectable amount."

Because that's totally something I would do, the scrounging for change bit, not the Hallmark card.

Anyhow, you're sitting across the room watching something with Avi sleeping on your chest because he's become a total daddy's boy in the last month and you can put him to sleep so much better than I can now (growl mutter) so I'm just going to go ahead and write you my own little paragraph which you'll read in like 2 weeks from now and it'll be like your birthday all over again. yay!

Here's what I like about you: (because I love that game)

You're incredibly smart and a rare match for my superspeedy brain (haha, laugh)
You're very manly with hairy arms.
You're a drummer, and a good one I think with time and you make retarded drumming faces.
Your photography. Very into it.
You get me.
Your sense of humor. It may not be quite 'deGaalon' but not a day goes by that you don't get me to crack a smile (if not a full out belly laugh) about some witty joke.
You're an amazing daddy and take care of us the bestest.
You're spontaneous.
You're very handsome and don't know it.
You make excuses for my artistic temperament :)
You're sexy.
You're a bartender and can make me nifty drinks. Speaking of which, you can pretty much do anything you decide to. Quite a quality.
You make me proud.

I could keep going..

All that to say, thanks for making my life better and I hope I can return the favor this year. Happy birthday baby. I love you.

Curses, foiled again!

2007-06-02T20:19:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting by the pool
Glass of wine - check.
Balmy weather - check.
Computer - check.
Writer's itch - check.
Battery life? Curses and double curses.

I suppose you'll have to wait to get your Nom fix.

It's what you do to me

2007-05-24T22:40:00.000-04:00

Just a thank you for putting up with all my Crazies!
The girly the badly and the ugly.

I guess I just got really lucky.

You have to learn to hump before you learn to crawl

2007-05-24T22:26:00.000-04:00

When Avi tries to hoist himself onto all fours he wobbles uncontrollably in a wierd back-and-forth humping motion. I try to be supportive of all his new accompishments but some are really just point-and-laugh.

Don't worry bunny, I laugh at your daddy too.

Jesus must have been Emo.

2007-05-24T22:05:00.000-04:00

I was listening to that song Haven sings "You say you love my Jesus?". There's some prize lines in that one.

Namely.

If a Man forsake not all that he has he cannot be My disciple.

Kind of made me muse a little.
It's easy to just assume that we've given up everything since we're "bona fide disciples" but honestly, what have you given up? What have I? Specifically TO. BE. a disciple.

That Rock Concert Camp-a-Dingy

2007-05-18T00:27:00.001-04:00

I somehow attended Wordstock IV this year. This will make it the second WS that I've attended and the second time I've spent five anxious days wondering when I'll be discovered for the imposter that I am and forcibly removed by large arms hefting me under the armpits. Haha.

I'm going to force a show of expertise limited by my, count: not one but two, TWO whole Wordstocks to say that this one was the best so far. Not only were there extra special bands present a la STEM y Metanoya y Red Sky but there was also a Salad Bar!
Let me die happy.

I brought my little punkabilly Avicus with me which was fine until I wanted to do anything that didn't involve him. That would invariably bring up a conflict of interests.
Say, having a grown-up conversation or putting on makeup in the morning. I wanted 15 minutes to wash my face and hide the pockmarks and he wanted to see what kind of a base jump he could make from off the side of the bed onto tile floor.
I don't mean to brag but I got pretty adept at producing distracting trinkets to dissuade him from the imminent freefall.

Most favoritest: Concerts.
These guys were so swell and so tight I would have totally moshed if I had any kind of balls. Maybe you are relieved to learn I have none.
Yes, unfortunately, I am as cowardly as..well, a coward. You don't read my blog for the mincing of words.

Least favoritest: Mealtimes.
Early in the morning, before you've even shaken the remaining imprints of your dreams, you're made to parade in front of 300+ people feeling like all their hot little eyes (you know who you are, Beady Little Eyeballs!!) are upon you as you pray to find a chair that will open up in the earth and swallow you. Oh the walk of shame.

I want to give a major shoutout to all my homies of the jett/teen posse who get mad props for bein the shizit in their disciplin. Also for taking time out of their busy skedjool to slap a high five my way. Words fail me, for realz.

I wish I could give a list of all my the people who made me grin but it would be lengthy and I don't want to accidentally exclude anyone. Count yourself as one of them.

Merci.

under the radar.

2007-05-18T00:23:00.001-04:00

Do you know how it is when you're sitting in a dark room with just the alien like glow of the computer illuminating your face and you've got a drink on the bedside table to your right.
Your hand reaches out for the drink that Is Not There and that's how you become Hand Sweeping Ninja.
Your face gets this little "I'm trying to penetrate the glossy blackness" squint and your hand makes slow sweeping gestures like a metal-detector trying to locate your Stealth Drink, all the while hoping your night vision kicks in.

If you've never looked stupid in this way, I haven't either.

Halt, fiend!

2007-05-03T02:29:00.001-04:00

Makes me want to get back into watercolors.

And make you kiss me.

Month VII

2007-04-21T01:04:00.000-04:00

Mi manche,

In the last two months you've ended up persuading me not to sell you to the gypsies. At the beginning, I was unconvinced cynic that I am, that you were worth your feed, so to speak and let me say -- you feed uncommonly bountiful. Good thing we're well stocked.

Anyways, every night before you went to sleep I patted your head, sung a lullaby as you attempted to get both legs behind your head and said, "You're too swell, tomorrow though I'm selling you."

That morning and evening would come and go and you would slyly do something winsome that would postpone the inevitable and make me say, "One more day, my little lad."

- You can sit up by yourself.
- You can shout "Li-AR" exceptionally well, although it's probably an incognizant mistake, it's a great party trick.
- You make me throw the blanket over your head in the morning and laugh at my gargoyle faces (I'll have you know you're one of only two people in existence who will humor me in this way and god bless you for it)
- You've started eating mushy peas and bananas, WHILE sitting up.
- You roll over. And the opposite way.
- If I'm reading you HAVE TO HAVE MY BOOK. I've just started reading to you from my own and you respectfully listen, head cocked, grunt when I've spoken an especially profound line, and in general have led me to believe that you might end up being of the learned sort. Not a complete tool. That's all I ask of you
- You told me the other day that "It's okay, don't bother, I'll change my own poop diaper" and promptly hopped your little white butt (that you might have inherited from me) into the tub. (this one might have been marginally mixed with a powerful daydream I've been harboring.)
I must add here to your list of accolades that you now no longer take delicate little baby poops. Thanks to the introduction of human food you have joined the males of your species in taking manly craps as well as the look of triumph on your collective faces when the mission is accomplished.

Each day, each night. Until finally I relented and consented to keep you for good. I guess this means it's 25 to life. Maybe they'll let me off at 18 for good behavior.

It's not all sweet sunshine and baby gurgles.
You've woken up some nights screaming "I AM A MIND-NUMBING SLEEP DEPRIVER!!!" in my ear while jabbing your babysoft heels into my lower abdomen. Thankfully, you pick the days when I have to be up at 7:30 to introduce me to Mr. Hyde.
Charming gentleman, that guy.

I can't complain about much else. You're kind of a bargain. And as with all bargains you can't help but wonder when the defect will raise it's sneaky ugly head, a faulty transmission, a puzzle with just one piece missing..but so far you've managed to hide it from my wary eye.

I'm pretty much satisfied with my deal, just don't let me catch you seducing the maid cause then it's outs for you. Thanks for showing me that good can tip the scales more heavily than the bad can. I love you...and I'ma going to eat your tummy.

War on Freedom?

2007-04-21T00:41:00.000-04:00

Maybe if the Bush administration spent more time and money on fixing the obvious problems in their own country we wouldn't have this rash of bizarre violent outbreaks, ie Virginia Tech, NASA.
I read somewhere the other day a comment on how there was never a history of suicide bombers in Iraq up until the war started. So in essence the US has created an atmosphere of such desperation that men would feel compelled to do this. What's the point?
Don't even get me started on all the problems that have arisen with almost every member of the Cabinet.

Not a collected thought here, just a frustrated "stop the world, I want to get off".\

check it. check it.

2007-04-20T03:11:00.000-04:00

Latest. Actually a Christmas present. Because I'm a cheapo...either that or I'm ridiculously generous. I've gotta give the original trees and sun design credit to Seth.

It's bigger than I'm used to which makes my knees weak. Wider than my arm span.

Pen and acrylic. I love the bleeding at the bottom of the stumps which I must fool with further.

Consequently,

If I had a scanner it would be a different font.

2007-04-20T02:15:00.000-04:00

To do list:

House hunt!!
Buy toilet paper, lettuce. Totally unrelated.
Work out.
Find legitimate excuse not to work out.
Play trapeze artist, wow Avi with peek-a-boo expertise.
Scratch, sniff and pair drawer of random socks.
Pray.
Work out. Curse self for lagging abilities at subterfuge.
Sketch designs for fledgling company.
Make sweet love to myself.
Make sweet love to Stephen Colbert.
OH god! be completely embarassed about that last point.
Call contacts.
Feel empassioned about something or other.
Trick Avi into falling asleep through smoke and mirror techniques. (now you see the binky, now you don't)
Chill out with glass of wine.
Have another.
Hot tub.

A Better Post.

2007-04-20T02:11:00.000-04:00

I miss you.
I love you.

Does this make liars? I'm not contradicting, I'm only trying to make the pieces fit.
Well well now.

To those who are about to rock, I salute you.

2007-04-04T02:42:00.000-04:00

We've spent the past two weeks in the company of some cherished friends from "back in the day".

They chose Austin and more specifically Us as the destination for their Spring Breaks. Honored as I was that I was a chosen favorite over Cancun, The Bahamas and such debaucherous hotspots, I betook it upon myself to show them a historically worthy "rolling of the good times".
(Here I must compliment Heidi on her superior agenda skills. Were it left to me, it would have been a trip to the library, maybe Joe's Crab Shack and we'll call it a day.)

S.B'er #1: Nennie Pigs

I hadn't seen this neither of these little critters in a coons age. This one is my honorary sister, confidante, kindred, and soon to be proud graduate of UNC business college. Yay! Go Pigs!

A series of very laughing people follows:

S. B'er #2: Heaven Sexalicious

She is my accomplice, stunt double and musical tasting twin.

(Check out that nose piercing, and the labret. A bonding moment between the two. Funny funny)

We went cafe chilling, kite flying, 6th street hopping, and slumber partying. Muchas goodness.

Random photographs end this post:
Ps. Come back soon!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself. But you only want what everybody else says you should want

2007-04-04T01:38:00.000-04:00

I was taking a long hot naked shower yesterday -- just kidding, I take fully clothed showers with cold water so as not to add to the global warming effect. As I was taking this hygienic downtime, I started ruminating over many slowly boiling issues that were bubbling precariously close to my surface.

Culmination: I have deviated from my original programming: My soul being is a true blue, gut wrenching, retarded, blindly stumbling into it, make or break me, delicate flower, fist clenching, say the wrong thing at the right time, revo-f**king-lutionary. I have - captialize, HAVE to have a perspective, an argument, a Reason.

So there it is again. Hel-Oh you! I guess I just lost it for a while with all the turbulence but vex yourself no more, good buddy, it's all back.

You know, I was looking around for a photo that would accompany this fine post. After hitting keywords like. burst. implode. whatnot. I realized I just wanted a photo of someone jumping the heck off a cliff. And not a like gravity's gonna kick in in 2 seconds type of jumping. But a I'm jumping off a cliff without any kind of life-support and in 2 seconds I'm goddamn gonna fly.

Amen?

illustrate

2007-03-20T01:43:00.000-04:00

About this and this, he cried;
about order and anarchy.
There is your precious order, that lean, iron lamp, ugly and barren;
and there is anarchy, rich, living, reproducing itself—there is anarchy, splendid in green and gold.
- The Man Who Was Thursday
G.K. Chesterton

The Jackpot

2007-03-07T01:11:00.000-05:00

I satted myself down with the intention of describing true and noble deeds but the wind blew out of my sails and I'm going to settle for a plethora of pictures (mostly of a jocund nature) which will probably please you more anyways, eventually anyhow.

Harlingen. circa Feb.2006:

Oof, and now I grow tired. It would definitely be cooler with one of them pictchar viewin' programs but I guess I'm just..not..that..cool. Later dudes, totally.

Of mice and men.

2007-02-27T02:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Internet,

1:43 am.
I'm not sure how to begin because I'm not sure of the ending. I tend to think that when writing for the public you should know your material, have an outline and maybe an idea of the ending. In this case I have none.

1:45 am.
That would probably be a good idea right? A theme. For the sake of propriety we'll name the theme "Deliberations" and try to stick to the subject matter.

1:46 am.
There's a movie going on in the background and it's throwing off my concentration. Might I state here for the record, TV is of Satan. Distressingly, I can't move as the only internet I have is attached to a cord shorter than the sound vicinity.

1:48 am.
Nothing. I'm moving to another room.

1:58 am.
I talked to a friend who suggested that love is a choice, an option that we can either embrace or shun. Correct me, amigo, if I have said this wrong. I guess I want to garner opinions.

It has been my personal experience that love sneaks up on you like a bandito and just when you think you're in the clear it ambushes you with all it's amorous intentions. Is it just a choice we make to surrender to it?

2:08 am.
I know you've trotted naked around your room/apartment and felt a delicious sense of well-being.

2:10 am.
I make a mean cabbage/mushroom/garlic stir-fry and poo-on-you for turning it down, Ta-Ta because it might make you fart. You only live once. Relish it.

2:17 am.
Seven minutes to make those last couple trivial lines. That either means that my brain is slowing down (likely) or it takes me longer to think of inane things (likelier) -- as opposed to deep things, obviously because I am Very deep and Very much a Thinker. Cough Cough. Ahem.

2:20 am.
On a sadder note, I will probably die of something tragic like a broken heart or a kneecap tumor.
(ps. I DID take an online test that predicted that I will most likely die of auto-erotic axphyxiation. (??) note to self: stay away from belts)

2:22 am.
Deliberation seems to have died in light of senseless banter. But I'm REALLY trying to debilerate this idea of love being a conscious decision rather than an erratic lovemaking of souls. Because if the choice was mine I'd Totally choose to fall in love with a squirrel.
In Futurespect, the squirrel would ignore me completely for his nuts and I would be left having to find my own tree, nutless and probably with an improperly conditioned tail making it frizzy and then, of course, unattractive to other squirrels.

2:32 am.
Humans are retarded.

2:33 am.
Eye am we todd did.

2:34 am.
Squirrels might also be retarded although I would have to research this further, against my better judgement.

2:35 ammm...

Over. Due.

2007-02-27T02:27:00.000-05:00

We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

--Damien Rice--

What was I trying to say last year? I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Probably laugh.

2007-02-27T02:19:00.000-05:00

Save me now cause you want to
Forgotten since summer had tune.

Needlessly squander your earnings.
Because I've made a fortune on you.

Hello and goodbye to such wanderings.
Everything left has been sold.

And all that I am and now will be.
Is sewed up and buried with mold.

For sure you are a master.
For sure I am a fraid.

For sure you keep me waiting.
For you I guard the gate.

Everything comes up now natural.
All of it jetsam and debris.

I need to choke on your harbour.
But sanity is wind lost at sea.

Kiss me with lips that are withered
Sing me a sad, heartfelt song.

Even your afterthoughts fall empty.
And I am a frustrating singalong.

Little kicks

2007-02-16T19:46:00.000-05:00

Today I discover that seeing cyclists in their tightie spandex gives me a little thrill. Although the thought of men dancing around in tightie spandex (a la 80's) gives me a chill.

Why?

Because I am burning with passion..

2007-02-14T14:38:00.001-05:00

Turn up the volume, you lovers. Theres a little Don Julio in all of us..

ps. i realize that last sentence sounds wrong, you gutter mind.

Month IV

2007-02-12T18:32:00.000-05:00

I think the fun has just started because this last month you've discovered NOISE. True and honest to goodness squeaks, chortles, grunts and nostril flaring.

Usually, I'm changing your diaper and maybe it's the exhilarating feeling of your bottom and nethers exposed to the air that brings out the conversationalist in you. I know it would me.
Your eyes widen, your lips curl into a tense, tight OOOOh, and - this is the best part - your eyebrows wiggle and contort as if they and they alone could single-handedly impress upon me the gravity of the tale you tell.
Hand and spastic feet motion accompany this undeniably epic drama. I'm not exactly sure on all points of your pronounciation but I'm pretty sure it deals on themes of high joy, abject sorrow, enters realms of deepest tragedy (expressed by a heartbreaking wail with upturned head) and then suddenly break into a comedic score

On this note you've shown an definite streak of the humorous (read, foolish). I have no idea where you might have picked this up. Assuredly not from my family, serious old codgers that they are. Maybe your fathers'side. Heh heh heh.

Then too, you've also started embarassing me in public. Usually in a very crowded store or maybe a library. Quiet places where people are bustling about very efficiently, Not To Be Disturbed. You'll decide this is the perfect spot to strike up your best operatic score. The one you must have been practicing in the bathroom alone with your hairbrush when I wasn't around because, let me tell you, it is perfected to a T.
Those nearest have only a split second of recognition because then their ears simultaneously explode. Those fortunate enough to have an aisle or two of sound padding between them and the Wild Banshee find that their only recourse is to curl into the fetal position, heads between their knees.
That's when we make our escape. Jumping over the prone, twitching bodies that litter the ground in our wake.

Although this is certain to bring you fame and fortune when you're older, following my footsteps towards world domination, right now it's forcing me to perfect my "Heh. Kids. What can you do?" smile while forcing a chuckle and looking contrite.

Have I told you that your eyes are way too intelligent looking for your little body. It's unsettling.

Have I also told you that I love you to teensy tinsy pieces?
That's unsettling as well. How easily I've come undone. From being an independent, on-top-of-things person (or so I like to think) to a goo-goo babbling dork.

How the coolest part of my day is when you kick (my stomach) and squirm for an hour every morning before you actually can get your eyes open and when I finally roll you onto my chest your head pops up with your huge bright eyes, little squishy bed-cheeks and the most mischevious ear to ear toothless grin as if you think you're a real laugh and I should be laughing too.

And I always do.
Much love, Mommy

Anonymous Vacation II

2007-02-11T18:49:00.000-05:00

Last we heard was:

'And so I'm left wondering, leaving right now and still clueless. I hope he's trustworthy..'

As it turns out Seth is a very cunning man. All this time, I never knew what he was capable of. I should keep a closer eye on him from now on.

I'm packing and trying to get hints. "Should I bring a towel?" "What about my toothbrush?" "Do you think I'll need my passport?" "My fuzzy chicken shoes?"

Nothin' doin'. He's as tight-lipped as a mummy.

We get in the car...heading SOUTH. Ah-HA! says I in my head. We're obviously heading towards..what? What's south?
Stump.

I decide not to just relax and accept my fate after we pass every possible exit that I assumed we might exit on. I pull out a book and start reading.

Two hours later we're downtown San Antonio and Seth admits, "I've kind of lost my bearings." We pull into a a hotel parking lot and I suggest, "Why don't you ask for directions in there?"

Seth goes in and I'm waiting, and waiting...and then I start thinking. Is it possible that he could be this wily? That he could actually PLAN it that I would seem I suggested for him to go in when in reality this was our destination all along?
Maan!

As it turns out, he had booked this place days in advance and had been planning it for like two weeks..a suite on the Riverwalk . Too cool.

The next two days were spent exploring and feasting..mostly. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe, Ripleys Believe It or Not Museum (I love those kinds of things), saw a bagpiper, ate quail and melt-in-your-mouth steak, and lazed around indoors when it rained.

I was mostly too forgetful to take pictures..so i have only dees

Ultimately, it turned out to be one of the best surprises ever. Thank you, Seth. You're pretty amazing.

Super Bowel XVi

2007-02-06T03:45:00.000-05:00

This was a game where, in all honesty, I was ambivalent towards either team.

The most excited I got was within the first 10 seconds of the game when the Bears scored on the Colts during the kickoff but due to miscommunication I understood that it was made by the team that I was rooting for, though non-commitally, but in actuality was masterfully run by the opposing forces that connived to gain victory...aaand..you get the picture. Whatever.

The sweetness was that we had 25+ people stuffed into our small apartment like..sardines, haha, no really -- maybe like hotdogs in those little plastic packages because sardines are smelly and overused and hotdogs always look like they're just a bunch of good friends hanging out in a vaccuum suctioned plastic bag just waiting to be selected in the supermarket because of their chummy demeanor because THEY WANT TO, not because some one stuffed them all in together and they secretly hate each others little hotdog innards.
I made it my solemn dootie to meander about and catch everyone with their game-est faces on. This is a series I would loove to have enlarged, framed and placed on my wall.

And then just the candid party snaps...it was also David's birthday and since he's one of the swellest people I know we had to spank him extra hard. (betcha don't remember THIS, hmm? hmm?)

or this..

or this..

Babes, mad babes

I think we wanted a picture of this elusive vixen but she sure wasn't putting out..

Thus y thus it came about. And Thus y thus I take my leave.

Oh wait. I almost forgot..I scorthed big way, big way. amen.

I am a Feastie Beastie

2007-01-28T12:02:00.000-05:00